It’s Eros Day, which means the stars and the gods are aligned in celebration of sex, as this day marks the annual entry of the penile-shaped and boulder-balled planetoid, appropriately named EROS-433, into Earth’s orbit—and of course, the Womb Room. I thought that since our 13th annual Eros Day celebration happened to fall on the same day as the AVN Awards, it wouldn’t be so hot. Oh Eros, was I wrong about that, as Eros Day XIII turns out to be one of our hottest, juiciest Eros Days in history, featuring an extraordinary multi-orgasmic, multi-squirting, mattress-bouncing, mama-loving, truly Olympian, non-stop sex performance from real-life married couple Jeremy Conway and Lyla Storm as divine lovers Eros and Venus, climaxing with a sizzling concert by Lil Uno of The Pack accompanied by his biggest little fan, my Eros-inspired producer Tasia Sutor..

Air Date: 6/02/2012 Inspired by my interview with Tao Ruspoli for his upcoming film, the working title(s) of which is “Monogamish” or “Monogamy and Its Discontents,” I conjured up this show on “Free Love,” mixing sexperts with sexpots of orgies past and current porn. What is “free love”? The idea has been circulating since human sexuality was first restricted, probably around the dawn of civilization, leaving the meaning of free love to be just as free and open to interpretation as is the larger idea of love (and/or sex) itself. The term is officially applied to a proto-feminist movement in 19th century England whose original goals included keeping the state out of the people’s love lives and giving women the right to say no as well as yes to sex. With ensuing decades, “free love” expanded to include the right to have sex with any and all consenting adults, from the freewheeling swing parties of the Sexual Revolution to the current explosion in porn star marriages, polyamory, Facebook affairs and BDSM agreements. It all fits under the big wet umbrella of “monogamish,” a term popularized by eloquent Seattle sexpert and fellow Sex at Dawn fan, Dan Savage; that is, being in a committed sexual relationship that is not erotically exclusive. At least, not exactly…therefore the “ish.” And therefore this show: A stimulating, freewheeling discussion of “Free Love, Then & Now” turns out to be fantastic foreplay for a dramatic display of hot, hardcore, lawfully-wedded, super-porny, squirting, multi-orgasmic and monogamish sex in action. Whether you’re monogamish or promiscu-ish, a free lover, a cheap fornicator or a high-priced whore, as every good bonobo already knows, the best things in life are FREE—like listening to this show (just click the arrow above). Though it’ll cost you a few sheckels (and believe me, it’s worth it!) to watch.

Air Date: 6/02/2012 Inspired by my interview with Tao Ruspoli for his upcoming film, the working title(s) of which is “Monogamish” or “Monogamy and Its Discontents,” I conjured up this show on “Free Love,” mixing sexperts with sexpots of orgies past and current porn. What is “free love”? The idea has been circulating since human sexuality was first restricted, probably around the dawn of civilization, leaving the meaning of free love to be just as free and open to interpretation as is the larger idea of love (and/or sex) itself. The term is officially applied to a proto-feminist movement in 19th century England whose original goals included keeping the state out of the people’s love lives and giving women the right to say no as well as yes to sex. With ensuing decades, “free love” expanded to include the right to have sex with any and all consenting adults, from the freewheeling swing parties of the Sexual Revolution to the current explosion in porn star marriages, polyamory, Facebook affairs and BDSM agreements. It all fits under the big wet umbrella of “monogamish,” a term popularized by eloquent Seattle sexpert and fellow Sex at Dawn fan, Dan Savage; that is, being in a committed sexual relationship that is not erotically exclusive. At least, not exactly…therefore the “ish.” And therefore this show: A stimulating, freewheeling discussion of “Free Love, Then & Now” turns out to be fantastic foreplay for a dramatic display of hot, hardcore, lawfully-wedded, super-porny, squirting, multi-orgasmic and monogamish sex in action. Whether you’re monogamish or promiscu-ish, a free lover, a cheap fornicator or a high-priced whore, as every good bonobo already knows, the best things in life are FREE—like listening to this show (just click the arrow above). Though it’ll cost you a few sheckels (and believe me, it’s worth it!) to watch.

Air Date: 06/09/2012 It’s another unforgettable orgy in the Womb Room. And what is the cause for celebration this time? To quote the sagacious inscription on the goblet I received as a gift: “It’s My Fucking Birthday!” And what a bon anniversaire bacchanal of epic proportions it is, commencing with me popping out of my own cake (concocted by RadioSUZY1 producer and passionate cake fetishist Tasia Sutor, assisted by artist Yossie Vardan), surrounded by some of the world’s hottest sexpots, sexperts and sex maniacs in full-on, ecstatic celebration mode. Then things really go off! And by “things” I mean most of my guests’ clothing as we pile up more beauties in the bed for Sybian rides, spanking, pole-dancing, Adult Play Parlor sex toys for all, Kinky Eddie sex toys for me, sword swallowing (both the sideshow and fellatio variety—at the same time!), as couples and clusters sex it up until the break of dawn on various beds and couches of the Speakeasy, in celebration of the very first “sex act” of my long and rather sexual life. Yes indeed, brothers and sisters, we are all born from sex. With all due respect to the Virgin Mother, real mothers are not virgins. Neither are fathers. Sex is what brings us into the world, and sex is what motivates us to stick around for a while. Praise be to the power and glory of sex! It keeps you young. And you keep me young. At least you—my readers, listeners, lovers, viewers, friends, clients, tweeps, my awesome, ever-changing socialist/capitalist BonoboVille community—keep me from ever growing up. The proof is in this party. Thank you all for helping to make my crazy marvelous life possible.

Air Date: 06/09/2012 It’s another unforgettable orgy in the Womb Room. And what is the cause for celebration this time? To quote the sagacious inscription on the goblet I received as a gift: “It’s My Fucking Birthday!” And what a bon anniversaire bacchanal of epic proportions it is, commencing with me popping out of my own cake (concocted by RadioSUZY1 producer and passionate cake fetishist Tasia Sutor, assisted by artist Yossie Vardan), surrounded by some of the world’s hottest sexpots, sexperts and sex maniacs in full-on, ecstatic celebration mode. Then things really go off! And by “things” I mean most of my guests’ clothing as we pile up more beauties in the bed for Sybian rides, spanking, pole-dancing, Adult Play Parlor sex toys for all, Kinky Eddie sex toys for me, sword swallowing (both the sideshow and fellatio variety—at the same time!), as couples and clusters sex it up until the break of dawn on various beds and couches of the Speakeasy, in celebration of the very first “sex act” of my long and rather sexual life. Yes indeed, brothers and sisters, we are all born from sex. With all due respect to the Virgin Mother, real mothers are not virgins. Neither are fathers. Sex is what brings us into the world, and sex is what motivates us to stick around for a while. Praise be to the power and glory of sex! It keeps you young. And you keep me young. At least you—my readers, listeners, lovers, viewers, friends, clients, tweeps, my awesome, ever-changing socialist/capitalist BonoboVille community—keep me from ever growing up. The proof is in this party. Thank you all for helping to make my crazy marvelous life possible.

Air Date: 06/16/2012 What a strange show. We start the live broadcast dangling in suspense as to if and when a tardy porn star would arrive, especially since my other five featured guests had cancelled, all of them pleading ill, shortly before showtime. But that suspense soon gives way to erotic suspension as a couple members of our audience step up to the RadioSUZY1 plate to present ethereal, artistic rope bondage, dangling from the Speakeasy ceiling like human chandeliers. After an oddly soundless and motionless orgasm on the Sybian, we’re back to suspense. In our virtually guest-less state, we decide to use the show itself to “audition” two applicants for one available position here in Bonoboville, much to the delight of our in-studio audience. This time, the suspense lies in who will get the job (and no, we haven’t decided yet). Meanwhile we’re getting a stream of texts from the tardy porn star, saying she’s “on the way,” “going to be late,” “stuck in traffic” and finally, hopelessly “lost.” Twenty minutes after the live broadcast is over, she shows up, proffering passionate apologies, seductive gazes and booty shimmies, leaving me no choice (after sulking for a half hour) but to punish her tardy porn star ass with a sound spanking, paddling, cropping, strap-on dildo-ing and butt-plugging to beat the band. Actually, I don’t know about the band, but I sure did beat her beautiful buns, and at least, after all that suspense, we bonobos got some resolution! Speaking of bonobos, this show is also a celebration of the recently announced sequencing of the bonobo genome. The “suspense” is over, brothers and sisters, and now what we long believed has been confirmed: Bonobos are our closest living relatives, along with common chimpanzees, over 98% genetically similar to human beings. Maybe now that geneticists have recognized this, our highly endangered Kissin’ Cousins, who swing from the trees as well as with each other, will get some respect–as well as money for research and their protection.

Air Date: 6/23/2012 “My Oberon, what visions have I seen! Methought I was enamored of an ass…” Faerie Queen Titania in A Midsummer Night’s Dream by William Shakespeare, Act 4, Scene 1 Enter the Enchanted Forest of my Womb Room, and you’ll discover just “what fools these mortals be” during this honeymoon hot and wild Commedia Erotica performance of A Midsummer Night’s Wet Dream. Shakespeare might be shaken by our no-holds-barred eroticizing of one of his most brilliant comedies, but I think he’d also be amused, and I know he’d be aroused. In Shakespeare’s original Dream, the “ass” is a recurring theme. A central character is one “Nick Bottom,” and with a name like that, we already know he’s an ass. Then Puck turns Bottom into an actual ass, that is, a jackass or donkey, from the neck up. Though we might assume he’s also hung like a horse or at least a donkey, since there’s no other reason but magic juice that the beautiful Faerie Queen Titania falls in love with Bottom the Ass. Bottom is rather “rude,” but we’ve got an elegant Balinese wooden horse to “play” the ass, with a large, functional dildo “attachment” that turns it into a real “horsepowered” sex machine (Dick Bottom?), topped only by the human sex machine between the legs of one of our surprise guests who–surprise!–turns out to be hung bigger than the horse. We’ve also got a dazzling, dizzying array of awesome naked asses in a variety of colors, shapes and sizes, male, female and shemale)—adorning this unrehearsed megaproduction of the hottest, horniest, honey-moon-iest rendition of A Midsummer Night’s Dream you’ve ever seen. Shakespeare your schoolteacher never taught you (unless your schoolteacher is me). Special thanks to my show producer Tasia Sutor who claims not to “understand” Shakespeare, but proves herself to be a better, more ingenious Puck than Robin Goodfellow himself, magically transforming my broadcast bed into an Enchanted Forest, turning Master Liam’s wooden horse into a mythological sex machine, and then flying through the air with faerie wings (watch the after-party clips to witness the enchantment). Additional thanks to Pr. Max (whose revolutionary publications are now being featured in a fabulous 14-page spread in Richardson Magazine) and to the entire Bonobo Gang of merry fools for love and faerie wizards who make this madness possible.

Air Date: 06/16/2012 What a strange show. We start the live broadcast dangling in suspense as to if and when a tardy porn star would arrive, especially since my other five featured guests had cancelled, all of them pleading ill, shortly before showtime. But that suspense soon gives way to erotic suspension as a couple members of our audience step up to the RadioSUZY1 plate to present ethereal, artistic rope bondage, dangling from the Speakeasy ceiling like human chandeliers. After an oddly soundless and motionless orgasm on the Sybian, we’re back to suspense. In our virtually guest-less state, we decide to use the show itself to “audition” two applicants for one available position here in Bonoboville, much to the delight of our in-studio audience. This time, the suspense lies in who will get the job (and no, we haven’t decided yet). Meanwhile we’re getting a stream of texts from the tardy porn star, saying she’s “on the way,” “going to be late,” “stuck in traffic” and finally, hopelessly “lost.” Twenty minutes after the live broadcast is over, she shows up, proffering passionate apologies, seductive gazes and booty shimmies, leaving me no choice (after sulking for a half hour) but to punish her tardy porn star ass with a sound spanking, paddling, cropping, strap-on dildo-ing and butt-plugging to beat the band. Actually, I don’t know about the band, but I sure did beat her beautiful buns, and at least, after all that suspense, we bonobos got some resolution! Speaking of bonobos, this show is also a celebration of the recently announced sequencing of the bonobo genome. The “suspense” is over, brothers and sisters, and now what we long believed has been confirmed: Bonobos are our closest living relatives, along with common chimpanzees, over 98% genetically similar to human beings. Maybe now that geneticists have recognized this, our highly endangered Kissin’ Cousins, who swing from the trees as well as with each other, will get some respect–as well as money for research and their protection.

Air Date: 01/28/2012 It gets gangstah raw up in my Womb Room as we welcome Oakland’s own Rap University Dean of Pimpology—Too $hort. In his honor, several of the hoochies get hella hyphy—not to mention, naked. Then the strippahs wrap around the pole as the gangstahs rap about their holes.

Air Date: 06/30/2012 Vanilla, a richly flavored spice derived from the blooming orchids of the vanilla plant, tastes especially delicious in cream puffs and ice cream. Of course, if you’re forced to eat nothing but vanilla, soon that delectable flavor induces nausea and boredom. And so it is with “vanilla” or conventional marriage. Engaging in nothing but vanilla, monogamous, marital, missionary-position sex might be terrific, romantic and very orgasmic—for a few years. But after a while, if you don’t mix it up with a few other spicy flavors, vanilla relationships almost inevitably get boring, if not downright nauseating. This show is an antidote to all that. In fact, it is “The Anti-Vanilla,” and I am your Anti-Vanilla Auntie, garbed for the occasion in a rainbow sherbet palette of summer-hot hues to combat vanilla boredom and honor the tail end of Gay Pride Month. Helping me help you out of the vanilla closet, should you be trapped inside of such a relatively flavorless marital prison, is a yummy bunch of guests in the Womb Room and on webcam, from the author of Unlearn Vanilla Marriage and his swinging wife of 15 years to some of the hottest porn performers on the planet, each deliciously un-vanilla in her or his own very tasty way.

Air Date: 06/23/2012 “My Oberon, what visions have I seen! Methought I was enamored of an ass…” Faerie Queen Titania in A Midsummer Night’s Dream by William Shakespeare, Act 4, Scene 1 Enter the Enchanted Forest of my Womb Room, and you’ll discover just “what fools these mortals be” during this honeymoon hot and wild Commedia Erotica performance of A Midsummer Night’s Wet Dream. Shakespeare might be shaken by our no-holds-barred eroticizing of one of his most brilliant comedies, but I think he’d also be amused, and I know he’d be aroused. In Shakespeare’s original Dream, the “ass” is a recurring theme. A central character is one “Nick Bottom,” and with a name like that, we already know he’s an ass. Then Puck turns Bottom into an actual ass, that is, a jackass or donkey, from the neck up. Though we might assume he’s also hung like a horse or at least a donkey, since there’s no other reason but magic juice that the beautiful Faerie Queen Titania falls in love with Bottom the Ass. Bottom is rather “rude,” but we’ve got an elegant Balinese wooden horse to “play” the ass, with a large, functional dildo “attachment” that turns it into a real “horsepowered” sex machine (Dick Bottom?), topped only by the human sex machine between the legs of one of our surprise guests who–surprise!–turns out to be hung bigger than the horse. We’ve also got a dazzling, dizzying array of awesome naked asses in a variety of colors, shapes and sizes, male, female and shemale)—adorning this unrehearsed megaproduction of the hottest, horniest, honey-moon-iest rendition of A Midsummer Night’s Dream you’ve ever seen. Shakespeare your schoolteacher never taught you (unless your schoolteacher is me). Special thanks to my show producer Tasia Sutor who claims not to “understand” Shakespeare, but proves herself to be a better, more ingenious Puck than Robin Goodfellow himself, magically transforming my broadcast bed into an Enchanted Forest, turning Master Liam’s wooden horse into a mythological sex machine, and then flying through the air with faerie wings (watch the after-party clips to witness the enchantment). Additional thanks to Pr. Max (whose revolutionary publications are now being featured in a fabulous 14-page spread in Richardson Magazine) and to the entire Bonobo Gang of merry fools for love and faerie wizards who make this madness possible.

Air Date: 07/08/2012 “I am a cage, in search of a bird.” -Franz Kafka I originally named this show “Kafkaesque Sex” in reference to my guests, the UCLA psychology-professor fronted band with hot topless back-up singers: Crying 4 Kafka. As it turns out, the band, dubbed “the pundits of punk” by the LA Weekly, is not the only Kafkaesque aspect of this surreally sexy show in which various technical malfunctions and prop disappearances thwart me, my staff, guests and (probably) you, yet ultimately lead all of us to amazing climaxes of great orgasmic, artistic, educational, masturbational and utterly hilarious heights. Such is life, sex and Kafka. Now just in case you don’t know Kafka from the Kardashians, Franz Kafka (1883-1924), the Czech author of such masterworks as The Metamorphosis and The Trial, was considered one of the greatest writers of the 20th century, famous for his profound, absurdist scenarios that are, on a cerebral level, even wilder than this show, but without the happy, orgiastic, singing, dancing, squirting-on-the-Sybian, bonobo-esque ending.

Date: 07/14/2012 Free PGish Pix Page… X Pix and Video coming to DrSusanBlock.tv! Liberté, Égalité, Fraternité…Sexe! That’s the name of the game when we celebrate Bastille Day on The Dr. Susan Block Show with the spirit of the French Revolution, French wine, French flags, French fries (though they’re really Belgian), French Can-Can (performed in the traditional manner, with no panties), French ballet (danced naked), French songs (sung during Sybian rides), French bread (used as dildos) and, of course, lots of French kissing and French sex, aided and abetted by very strong, very French, practically hallucinogenic Absente Absinthe (now made with real wormwood!). Even before the Absinthe, I attempt to open the show en français: Les Frères et les Soeurs, les Amants et les Pécheurs, les Artistes et les Exhibitionnistes, les Voyeurs et les Connaisseurs….Tout vous Enfants du Sexe, et nous sommes tous les Enfants du Sexe. Nous pouvons ou pouvoir ne pas être des Enfants de Dieu, mais nous sommes tous les Enfants du Sexe. Peux j’entendre ‘Amen’? Peux j’entendre ‘Awomen’? Joyeux Quatorze Juillet! Joyeux Jour Bastille! Ou comme nous disons dans l’anglais “Happy Bastille Day!” And then the coquettes and baguettes go frolicking through an American interpretation of a French adventure, against an enchanted backdrop of bleu, blanc et rouge erotic francophilia, whimsically designed by my deliciously twisted producer, Tasia Sutor, who looks like a cross between a can-can girl, a beret-clad artiste and a French pastry. Bastille Day commemorates the “storming of the Bastille” on the 14th of July, 1789, one of the opening shots of the French Revolution, in which old ideas about tradition, hierarchy, monarchy and religious authority were abruptly overthrown by the new Enlightenment principles of Liberté, Égalité, Fraternité. Though the “storming of the Bastille” has a sexy ring to it, the event itself was rather bloody, including a mob lynching of the Bastille Governor, followed over the years, by massive executions via the famous French guillotine. Here at the Speakeasy, we’d rather make love, not war. Instead of the guillotine, we just spank your bare bottom with a hard baguette. This show includes a tribute to one of our favorite show guests and friends, the wonderful, gorgeous, sexy and hilarious Holly Stevens, Queen of Clown Porn and Queen of Our Hearts, who succumbed to a particularly aggressive form of breast cancer at the age of 30. I don’t know if Holly had ever been to France, but I do know she lived by those Enlightened French principles: Liberté, Égalité, Fraternité…et Sexe, right up until the end.

Air Date: 01/28/2012 It gets gangstah raw up in my Womb Room as we welcome Oakland’s own Rap University Dean of Pimpology—Too $hort. In his honor, several of the hoochies get hella hyphy—not to mention, naked. Then the strippahs wrap around the pole as the gangstahs rap about their holes.

Air Date: 06/30/2012 Vanilla, a richly flavored spice derived from the blooming orchids of the vanilla plant, tastes especially delicious in cream puffs and ice cream. Of course, if you’re forced to eat nothing but vanilla, soon that delectable flavor induces nausea and boredom. And so it is with “vanilla” or conventional marriage. Engaging in nothing but vanilla, monogamous, marital, missionary-position sex might be terrific, romantic and very orgasmic—for a few years. But after a while, if you don’t mix it up with a few other spicy flavors, vanilla relationships almost inevitably get boring, if not downright nauseating. This show is an antidote to all that. In fact, it is “The Anti-Vanilla,” and I am your Anti-Vanilla Auntie, garbed for the occasion in a rainbow sherbet palette of summer-hot hues to combat vanilla boredom and honor the tail end of Gay Pride Month. Helping me help you out of the vanilla closet, should you be trapped inside of such a relatively flavorless marital prison, is a yummy bunch of guests in the Womb Room and on webcam, from the author of Unlearn Vanilla Marriage and his swinging wife of 15 years to some of the hottest porn performers on the planet, each deliciously un-vanilla in her or his own very tasty way.

Air Date: 10/27/2012 Halloween 2012 in BonoboVille opens with a lyrical and satirical resurrection of the hot witch within and a discussion amongst my guests of the dynamics of fear and arousal. Stimulating as all this brain food is, there’s only so much it can satisfy the ravenous, hedonistic appetites of the wildly painted and flamboyantly costumed Speakeasy congregation. So it isn’t long before an orgy of orgasming angels, screwing zombies and squirting pussycats explodes upon my bed of broken glass and skeletons (DrSuzy.tv producer Tasia Sutor’s frighteningly hot set), by a bubbling cauldron of bobbing dildos, your happy hostess flying around the Womb Room on my Magic Dildonic Vibrating Broom. Harry Potter, eat your heart out. We know how to fly Halloween.

Length: 119:36minutes Air Date: 11/3/2012 From our opening appeal to help superstorm Sandy’s victims to a deep exploration of the male G-spot, aka the “P-spot” (aka the prostate), to three special Scorpio birthday celebrations—1) for my beloved Capt’n Prince Max (who reaches the sexy age of 69 this Thursday), 2) the ageless Master Liam and 3) just turned 21-year-old Porn Princess Shay Golden—this is a wide-ranging show, brimming with sex education, kink-laced stimulation and heartfelt, loving fun. Special thanks to DrSuzy.tv producer Tasia Sutor for the homemade-with-love cock and titty birthday cakes! Such decadent fun to lick icing off the nipples of my guests. Though that explains why my own boobs tasted kind of sugary this morning, huh Max?

Air Date: 07/08/2012 “I am a cage, in search of a bird.” -Franz Kafka I originally named this show “Kafkaesque Sex” in reference to my guests, the UCLA psychology-professor fronted band with hot topless back-up singers: Crying 4 Kafka. As it turns out, the band, dubbed “the pundits of punk” by the LA Weekly, is not the only Kafkaesque aspect of this surreally sexy show in which various technical malfunctions and prop disappearances thwart me, my staff, guests and (probably) you, yet ultimately lead all of us to amazing climaxes of great orgasmic, artistic, educational, masturbational and utterly hilarious heights. Such is life, sex and Kafka. Now just in case you don’t know Kafka from the Kardashians, Franz Kafka (1883-1924), the Czech author of such masterworks as The Metamorphosis and The Trial, was considered one of the greatest writers of the 20th century, famous for his profound, absurdist scenarios that are, on a cerebral level, even wilder than this show, but without the happy, orgiastic, singing, dancing, squirting-on-the-Sybian, bonobo-esque ending.

Length: 132:49 minutes Air Date: 11/17/2012 What has become of “privacy” when even the chief of the CIA can’t carry on a secret love affair without the whole world finding out? Welcome to the eerie new era of the American Surveillance State (ASS), bastard child of the Military Industrial Complex (MIC) and the Patriot Act, making sure that, whether you’re a terrorist, a mom or a four star general, Big Brother is watching you (yes, you too!), quite possibly without his shirt on. Out of this perfect frankenstorm of sex, spies, perma-war and deep, penetrating, “All In” surveillance comes “Petraeus-Gate,” one of the biggest poli-sexual messes to ejaculate out of the Beltway since Bill Clinton got a too-sloppy blowjob (though—unlike General P—he managed to hold onto his day job). Since not everyone in BonoboVille is a poli-sex junkie as addicted to Petraeus-Gate as I am, Capt’n Max and I take the first few minutes of this super sex-educational show to summarize the whole basic convoluted story, using Gawker’s handy-dandy Petraeus-Gate flow chart, embedded in DrSuzy.tv show producer Tasia Sutor’s fabulous patriotic, erotic, military-fetishized set. And with that, we bring Petraeus-Gate “to life,” Commedia Erotica style, based on the not-too-farfetched notion that Petraeus, his paramour/hagiographer Paula Broadwell and that other “other woman,” Jill Kelley (not the porn star!)—all of them having been laughed out of Washington, Harvard and even Tampa—come out West, bleach their hair blonde and get into porn.

Length: 161:22 minutes Air Date: 11/24/2012 Here in BonoboVille, we find sexy ways to celebrate most holidays, even that quintessentially unsexy Fall Festival of Fat and Carbs when millions of Americans gather together with bickering relatives to feed on heaping helpings of mashed and candied calories in commemoration of the genocidal European invasion of this great land we call America. So, after getting stuffed (which we do both gastronomically and sexually here in BonoboVille) on Thanksgiving Thursday—with digestion (or indigestion) and shopping on Black Friday—it’s time to leave the kids with a sitter*, clean up the spatulas, get out the paddles and celebrate SPANKSgiving Saturday night! Yes indeed, brothers and sisters, after we “give thanks” on Thanksgiving for our blessings, we “give spanks” on Spanksgiving for our so-called sins, as well as for the sheer physical and psychological fun of whacking a set of nice, eager, well-toned, slightly quivering buns. Amen and Awomen. This Spanksgiving features an overflowing banquet of spankers, spankees and celebrities, all engaged in or ogling a variety of spankings from over the knee (OTK), to shackled on the bondage cross, to a swat across a tempting behind as it sidles up to the bar. We also talk about the impractical, unconstitutional and virtually unenforceable Measure B, and how LA County voters need to be spanked for passing that one—and will be, right in the pocketbook, if the porn industry actually leaves LA. Thanksgiving or Spanksgiving, ’tis the season to give and give some more. Aside from our usual plea for the bonobos and Sandy victims, there’s the wonderful, award-winning, girl-girl porn star and single mom, Elexis Monroe, now facing a serious bone disease and in need of help from her friends and fans. *but make sure the sitter doesn’t spank the kids. As the late great Gore Vidal said, “I’m all for bringing back the birch, but only between consenting adults.” See Spanking 101 for why spanking children teaches them that violence is the answer and lowers their IQ. So spare the child and save your rod for your deliciously naughty adult lover. Slappy Spanksgiving!

Length: 106 Minutes Date: 12/08/2012 From an erotic Hanukkah menorah lighting ceremony to a breathtaking XXXmas season re-enactment of the miraculous virgin birth of Jesus, from a series of penetrating discussions with pundits and porn stars on “Sex, God & the Holidaze” to a hot game of “Strip Dreidel,” this show is a Saturnalian sexual revelation. All the major monotheistic religions use mythology and fear to try to control our natural, blooming sexuality, channeling it into procreation instead of recreation. All that control leads to religious sexual abuse, oppression, ignorance, bigotry, hypocrisy and much human misery. On the other hand, it also stimulates erotic rebellion and exhilarating, blasphemous kink. In a sexually twisted society such as ours, you often need the friction of naughty in order to feel nice. So Happy Horny Hanukkah, Merry XXXmas and Ho, Ho, Ho’s for Saturnalia. Celebrate. Fornicate. Investigate.

It’s another flavorful night of sex education, demonstration and celebration in Bonoboville, the sex ed subject being the fine art and succulent science of oral pleasure. With gentle breezes blowing the radiant streams of DrSuzy.tv producer Tasia Sutor’s scrumptious set, we learn to “blow each other away” with all kinds of essential and exotic techniques—from sucking to licking, deep-throating to muff-diving—courtesy of our feature guest Jaiya’s excellent new book of that name. As for “demonstration,” our fabulous fellatrixes and cunning linguists not only demonstrate many of these oral skills for your edification and delight; we also demonstrate our determination to stop rape and violence against women—and everyone else—by rising up to dance in Eve Ensler’s galvanizing One Billion Rising campaign (we’ll be doing it again next Satuday 2/16/13—join us for Lupercalia Rising!). And we celebrate Chinese New Year with my akeeta corn snake (also named Eve) who seems thrilled to be entering the Year of the Snake…though you never know with snakes.

Here in BonoboVille, we find sexy ways to celebrate most holidays, even that quintessentially unsexy Fall Festival of Fat and Carbs when millions of Americans gather together with bickering relatives to feed on heaping helpings of mashed and candied calories in commemoration of the genocidal European invasion of this great land we call America.

After Christianity took over (and shut down) the party, Valentine’s Day became associated with a celibate saint, a box of chocolate, a dozen roses and an arrow shot through a broken heart. But behind every Christian holiday, lies the real deal in its roots. And brothers and sisters, we in the Womb Room are happy to resurrect Lupercalia, the original, pre-Roman Valentine’s Day, an ancient holiday of lust, luck, fertility, the color red and a light whip across a heart-shaped behind. To celebrate a holiday more about floggers than flowers, we have a full-on flog fest featuring JuxLeather floggers being wielded by some of the foremost whip-masters, mistresses, floggers and floggees in LA, not to mention some smoke from a pussy pipe and vibrating valentine panties, and more flogging, bullwhip cracking, spanking and ass punching. Ouch! Well, better to have your buns beaten for Lupercalia than your heart broken on Valentine’s Day.

Beginning back in the days before Rome was Rome, a couple of “colleges” of nearly naked young men would meet in mid-February in the ancient cave where Romulus and Remus were suckled by a she-wolf (luper in Latin). They sacrificed a goat, marking each other’s foreheads with goat’s blood (thus the signature red of the holiday) and drank a lot of wine, cut whips (called “februa”) from the goatskin, then raced through the hills and towns, gaily smacking the willing behinds of women looking for luck, love and perhaps a baby. For more about the history and meaning of the Lupercalia, and how it was outlawed and repressed by the Catholic Church, replacing it with the saintly, sanitized Valentine’s Day!

It’s another flavorful night of sex education, demonstration and celebration in Bonoboville, the sex ed subject being the fine art and succulent science of oral pleasure. With gentle breezes blowing the radiant streams of DrSuzy.tv producer Tasia Sutor’s scrumptious set, we learn to “blow each other away” with all kinds of essential and exotic techniques—from sucking to licking, deep-throating to muff-diving—courtesy of our feature guest Jaiya’s excellent new book of that name. As for “demonstration,” our fabulous fellatrixes and cunning linguists not only demonstrate many of these oral skills for your edification and delight; we also demonstrate our determination to stop rape and violence against women—and everyone else—by rising up to dance in Eve Ensler’s galvanizing One Billion Rising campaign (we’ll be doing it again next Satuday 2/16/13—join us for Lupercalia Rising!). And we celebrate Chinese New Year with my akeeta corn snake (also named Eve) who seems thrilled to be entering the Year of the Snake…though you never know with snakes.

Once again, in a spanking hot, whipsmacking, flogtastic, female-ejaculating, breathtaking flurry of heart-shaped buns and floggers, we take back the original Valentine’s Day, The Lupercalia, and celebrate this erotic prehistoric festival of lust and thwacks in all its primeval glory. Unlike the mostly private Valentine’s Day, the Lupercalia of pre-imperial Rome was a euphoric public holiday of communal sexuality, fertility, the rush of hormones, the howl of the wolf, the crack of the whip and the coming of Spring.

Tasia Rides the Sybian.